Yes my faithful vict-…er, I mean “readers”, the time has come again for me to tor…ENTERTAIN you with my musings. *ahem*

Some of you may be familiar with the fact that I enjoy song parodies as well as txt blogs… So today I shall share with you some of my own original song parody creations that I relayed via text message to Jean the Wolverine on his way to basic training today- extra points if you can name all the songs I‘m mocking;

I needed a way to express to him how much he would be missed, not only by myself, but my family as well:
“ How do we live w/out u? I wan2 know- how will we ever- ever surviiiiive… how will we, oh how will we liiive?”

Of course I didn’t want to make him feel too guilty so I needed a way to express that I understood how important the military is to him and that he has his reasons:
“Jean went down 2 Georgia lookin fer sum nazis at keel, he was in a bind, financially behind an his debts were startin ta beeld”

Eventually the conversation turned to immunization shots, how there are very many of them and how many are still administered in the buttocks:
“i dun mind them curing u w/pins & needles- they need to stik it 2 u & i wuld stik u 2- don’t break don’t break a fart- when they imunize ur a-a–ass”

I was still feeling down and he tried to assure me that the days will rush by and time would go so quickly I wouldn’t notice, I begged to differ:
“Time time time what has becom of he- while i looked around, tryin 2 find my jean- nowher that i culd c- look around, leavs r brown, hes in a cold georgia winter”

But alas, soon the time came to bid adeu… and I gave him my sorrowful farewell and a little something extra:
“Bluuuue-OoohOooohooh- oh so lonesome 4 u- Im so bluuue over Jeeeean.”

Are they perfect? No. Are they amuzing? Yes.