It's funny to watch how some people act passively/agressively. My newspaper delivery guy apparently thinks I don't tip him enough. He usually puts the paper a foot from the sidewalk, so I don't think that is worth anything special other than a holiday tip. There is still a lot of snow from last weekend's snowstorm, and today he threw the paper about 20 feet into a pile of snow. Now maybe that was just poor aim, yet somehow he managed to place my neighbor's paper on her doorstep. Not that it will make any difference but I am reporting his ass to the newspaper's customer service.

I fell in love with a girl for the first time. I thought there could be no better experience ever. But it ended after awhile.

Then I went to college and started getting a lot of A's. I ended up as the top student in my class. I thought that was the best experience ever. But it ended after graduation.

Then after bouncing around in a few jobs after graduation, I found one where I succeeded in a massive way. I was the youngest officer at the company I worked for. I thought there could be no better experience ever. But the job eventually went away.

Then I went to graduate school, and this time I got good grades too, but I enjoyed the socializing experience more. I made many good friends and met a girlfriend or two. I thought there could be no better experience ever. But it eventually ended.

Then I started making good money at work, and investing in the stock market. After some investing losses, I started making money in a massive way. More than I could ever have imagined making. I thought that was the best experience ever. But I started thinking the market was too expensive so I didn't invest in the stock market again until last year.

Then I started meeting a lot of girls. Young girls, older girls, Spanish girls, all kinds of girls, even a former rock star. I fell in love with a couple, or more than a couple of them. I was sure this time that there was no better experience that I could ever have. But that season also passed.

I guess the lesson here is that things change, and what you thought was the best time ever in your life eventually ends, and while you can't do those things over, BETTER things may be on the horizon.

Right now, I am giddy about the future. I gotta feeling...

The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

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In the aftermath of a big snowstorm, I put out some food for the birds and squirrels. They are acting very excited at their good fortune to find a food supply in the midst of all this snow. Actually, if I didn't know better, I would say they are happy.

The Cowsils_ The Rain, The Park,

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We got about 20 inches of snow in NYC on Sunday. Many streets are still unpassable, but if you really don't have to go out it is quite an exhilarating experience. I enjoyed shoveling my house so much, I did the sidewalk and walk of my 89 year old neighbor's house as well. It really makes you feel alive...

Lifehouse - First Time

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I have been feeding another kind of bird but I don't know what kind it is. It is about the size of a sparrow, but it looks black with a white underside.

I am very happy to say that. In the past I have done stuff I was proud of, but never mentioned it as a form of false modesty. I thought other people would have to notice my accomplishments and when they didn't, I just got resentful. So maybe it could be viewed as bragging, but what the heck, I love doing this and I have no shame to say it. This is the video of mine that is getting the highest percentage of views at the moment:

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I very rarely bought one, but I bought this one when it came out:

Milla - Gentleman who fell

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I watched this movie for the first time today. Overall I liked it, especially the life lessons mentioned by the narrator. There were a few holes in the story however. First, no one seems overly surprised that Brad Pitt looked like an old man when he was a kid, and then started becoming younger. Everyone seems to just notice it and accept it like it wasn't that unusual. Secondly, Cate Blanchett as the old sick woman was barely understandable. Finally, setting it in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina seemed completely gratuitous, as added nothing to the story. But the story and acting make it overall pretty good.

I went to visit my parents' graves this Christmas day, and another grave caught my eye. The date was September 11, 2001, so I took a picture and looked it up. This girl was a 9/11 victim, so I said her prayer for her.

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/people/2014.html
http://www.legacy.com/Sept11/Story.aspx?PersonID=96932

About a dozen years ago I was friends with a girl named Nora. She was kind of like a kid sister, except she wasn't. She was bit like a tomboy but she had one of the prettiest faces I have ever seen. She used to tell me what was going on in her life, good and bad. One time she cried when she told me about something. We weren't exactly boyfriend/girlfriend but in a way we were closer than that. I even had a dream about her once, and I told her. She was a little creeped out about that, but it wasn't a sex dream or anything. We were just riding together on the subway in the dream, which is funny because we never rode the subway together. But the next time I saw Nora, she was excited and said to me, hey sam!! I had a dream about you!

After a year or two I lost touch with Nora. But in one of the lowest points in my life, when all my hope seemed to be gone, Nora came to me in another dream. I got through that difficult period, but have never seen her again or dreamed about her again. Until a couple of nights ago. I am not sure what, if any meaning there is in dreaming about her once again. I am probably happier now than I have been in about ten years and I don't think of her often. But I take it as a good sign. Here is a song about Dreams by the Cranberries. The lead singer looks a bit like Nora, in the prettiness of her face.

The Cranberries - Dreams

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Somebody with a band friended me on youtube. They have real talent

Not In2 It (Original)

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So the oppossum came back tonight and was facing the camera, so I made this video of him. It's dark but he only comes at night.

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I feed the birds in my backyard. A few minutes ago a cat started stalking a bird (at the top). I grabbed my digital camera and made my first youtube entirely of my own content. No animals were injured in the making of this video.

Youtube - Video

Now that I have a CD recorder I can burn them to CD like I did with this upload:

Youtube - Video

How it looked here in Queens:

In 1994 a girl started working in my department at work and we became good friends. She kept telling me about a guy she was the adviser to at Howard University. She told me this guy was going to be a big star. I had never heard of him in 1994, and the name Sean "Puffy" Combs meant nothing to me then. But the world knows about him now. From my cassette copy of Mo Money Mo Problems (Mase raps first, then Puffy, then Biggie):

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I bought a unit that plays and records vinyl and cassette records to CD, which make it easy to upload to youtube. I grabbed an old cassette tape to try it and the quality is pretty good!

Youtube - Video

After being away for a week of cold weather, the oppossum returned tonight:

When I was in graduate school I became friends with a girl in one of my classes. It was clearly more than a school friendship, I could tell by the way that we looked into each other's eyes when we talked outside at night after class. I was often clumsy at making the next move in such situations after getting burned a few times. But this girl said to me that we should get together to study one evening. That is innocent enough, except she said come to her apartment to study. If it was just to study it would have been at the school library. At that point in my life, I had never dated a girl who had her own apartment, they always lived with their parents. So this was uncharted territory for me. Well, long story short, I went to her apartment and had no idea how to handle it. Was it a date, or just a study session? I opted for the safe route and just talked about the class. I knew almost right away that was the wrong approach but it was too late. When I saw her in class again, she was very cool to me, I guess maybe thinking I didn't like her because I made no move that night in her apartment. That wasn't the case, I was just too nervous to make a move. Anyway, the semester ended and that was the end of the relationship. Funny thing, though I remember that girl and that night so well, I had completely forgotten her name. Today I was cleaning out my attic and I came across my notebook for that class and inside was her name, phone number, and directions to her apartment. Her name was Beth. It still doesn't ring a bell, but that was her name. I guess more importantly I remember her, and a particular moment. One night after class we were talking outside as usual, and it started raining. We ran under a doorway and continued to talk as we got wet from the rain. For that moment at least, we were falling in love.

Beth-Kiss

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Barbra Streisand's cover of Laura Nyro's song:

Barbra Streisand- Stoney End

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Once in awhile I get a "friendship" request from some "girl" on spin that I have never heard from before. I know that this is usually a scammer of some sort, but I will accept the request until proven otherwise. A person named "isabellas" friended me a few months ago. Her profile says she is from Ghana, which raises eyebrows by itself, but she didn't start writing romance emails. However I looked at her profile picture very closely and in the background there was a sign from a Sears store which I thought would be unlikely to be found in Ghana. Yesterday she emailed me about chatting and now today she unfriended me. Oh well, I have to say that email romances were exciting and new to me around say 1994.

This was the favorite song of a girl I really liked named Soraya. I am pretty sure she was an addict though she never told me. Beautiful girl with an even more beautiful soul.

Jane's Addiction - Jane Says

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I found the original invoice for the notebook I bought in 1992 for about $2,300. I think it was black and white, had 4MB memory, 80MB hard drive, and a 2400 baud modem. It was pretty state of the art at the time. It worked for a couple of years, then the case cracked I think because of overheating. I called the company, but the manufacturer, "PC BRAND", had gone out of business. The invoice:

I think this song has a good message. When you rise to the top, never let your ego take over and make you lose your soul.

Coldplay-Viva la Vida

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I am talking about the oppossum that has been coming to my this year, which reminded me of the song Puff the Magic Dragon. I had never seen an oppossum before in my life, so when this one appeared it was as strange to me as if a dragon had appeared. Well last night was the coldest night so far this winter, and it did not come for food. I don't know if it will return, but if not, this song is for Peter the Magic Oppossum:

Peter, Paul and Mary -Puff The Magic Dragon

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This is one of them:

The Cranberries - Dreams

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and now the video of her record is approaching 25,000 views.

Dominatrix - The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight (Remastered)

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This is a concept that I think all people with lasting success use regardless of whether they call it religion or not. All consistent success results from connection to a higher power and is lost when that connection is separated. Sometimes when we have success we start thinking that it is all our doing, that we are so great and talented that we don't need anything other than ourselves. But it is not our own talents, it is as we act as a channel to a higher power. I think this is sometimes illustrated when an athlete thanks God for an achievement. It is not that God is taking sides in sporting events and wants one team or person to win. It is an acknowledgement that a higher power gives us the power to succeed, the power that is available to anyone who seeks it.

This is a passage from the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" that describes this very well:

"God is the source of all energy - energy in the universe, atomic energy, electrical energy, and spiritual energy; indeed every form of energy derives from the Creator. The Bible emphasizes this point when it says, 'He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.' (Isaiah 40:29)

"Contact with God establishes within us a flow of the same type of energy that re-creates the world and that renews springtime every year. When in spiritual contact with God through our thought processes, the Divine energy flows through the personality, automatically renewing the original creative act. When contact with Divine energy is broken, the personality gradually becomes depleted in body, mind, and spirit. An electric clock connected with an outlet does not run down and will continue indefinitely to keep accurate time. Unplug it, and the clock stops. It has lost contact with the power flowing through the universe. In general this process is operative in human experience though in a less mechanical manner."

Youtube - Video

I just saw that this website linked one of my videos in an article from September. The video is hyper-linked midway through with the blue words "Mike Francesa".

http://digitalsportsdaily.com/sports-business/news/3717-an-interview-with-incarcerated-bob.html

I updated another wikipedia page, this time for the silent film star Miriam Nesbitt. I bought her personal scrapbook in 1994 for $15, and I added a personal photograph from that scrapbook as the last link on the wiki page.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miriam_Nesbitt

That book was "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. I read it in 1996 and it is not just about thinking positively, it is about how to live your life, with the aid of the Creator. It still works if you are not religious but the main source of the power is through a higher power. Things just started to fall into place after I read that book. I became a better person and I just started to attract all kinds of good stuff, many of which I have mentioned in this blog, some of which I haven't. I became a loving, caring person, and people started loving me back. In a real way too. There was too much good stuff happening that it couldn't have just been a coincidence. I found love (several times); I found many incredible friends, and financially, my net worth doubled in about 3 years. No I am not delusional, this all happened. The book explains principles for success in life, and they work. I had gotten away from living these principles for awhile.

But I am now again listening to Dr. Peale in his own words on an audio version of "The Power of Positive Thinking". I almost through the program once again.

Twist of Fate:

Olivia Newton John - Twist of fate

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The Lord watches over you -
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm -
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I got a reply to my complaint about the seller who backed out of an item I won. They basically said they agree he didn't want to sell at the price I won the item at, and they would take the appropriate action against him. However for privacy reasons they said they can't tell me what action they would take. The guy still has a bunch of items for sale so I'm guessing the punishment was not too severe.

I don't know what the whole song is about, he talks about a cake in the rain, but the following lyrics are lyrics to live by:

MacArthur Park - Richard Harris

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.

Youtube - Video

It's easy sometimes to not say anything when someone does a great job at something, but it is an opportunity that shouldn't be missed. I am talking about sincere compliments, not phony ones though. This is a story of one that I gave to a bus driver. One year I was working in Manhattan and there was a blizzard during the day. As a result, the railroad stopped running trains because there was too much snow. I had to figure out some other way of getting home. I ended up taking a subway to Queens, and took a city bus. I almost never take a bus but that was the only way I could get home. Fortunately, the buses were still running and I was very relieved that they were. I had to take the bus to the end of the line, and the last mile or so I was the only passenger. When he pulled over to drop me off, I said to the driver "you did a great job driving through the snow". He looked surprised and didn't say much, but I could just see the guy's whole spirit elevate from that simple comment. It's hard to put into words, but I meant it and I never forgot the way the guy looked from that little compliment I gave him.

Wanted - The Style Council

The Style Council - Wanted

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I continue to feed the birds in my backyard, and it seems like there are more of them than in the summer. Probably there is less food now for them with the cold weather. The birds are mainly sparrows, with quite a few mourning doves, and a pair of cardinals, one male and one female. The male is all red and is quite stunning. Speaking of sparrows, when I used to work in lower Manhattan, I would sometimes have lunch in Battery Park. The birds were very aggressive, and I could often get a sparrow to take a piece of bread right out of my hand.

I was not a fan of those self service checkouts at the supermarket, but one of the nice features of them is that it lets you put in as much change as you want. So if you have a pocketful of change, you can insert it all into the machine and it doesn't mind one bit how much you put in.

My earlier post about "forgiving" a guy on ebay who I think scammed me out of an item I bought made me think more about forgiveness. The failure to forgive hurts you, and blocks future good things from coming to you. It doesn't mean that you have to take crap from people or situations, but when it is over, you have to let go of the hurt and forgive. The people who are closest to you are often the ones that hurt you the most, and the toughest to forgive. I had a friend named Rich who was probably the best friend I ever had. Then one day he just ended the friendship and while I am long over the hurt I have never formally made the decision to forgive him. So today I state that I forgive Rich.

Luke and Lorelai - Heart of the Matter

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In the spirit of Christmas I have forgiven the guy who refused to deliver the item I bought on ebay. I am not going to pursue him further or even give him negative feedback. I told him in know uncertain terms what I thought he did and asked him not to do it again in the future. As you forgive, so shall you be forgiven.

- you become what you think about

I have been thinking thoughts of love, health, happiness, prosperity, beauty, gratitude, giving, creativity, new beginnings, and God, and I am pleased with the results.

The oppossum continues to come for food even in the cold weather. It has strange looking paws:

This is one of them. I dedicate this to the girl who probably loved me more than any other girl. I met her on November 3, 1998. I knew she was special that day. In fact, that night I posted something about her on the internet that she was the right girl for me. Now that was in 1998, when not many people were even on the internet. Heck, that message is probably still archived out there. Anyway, four days after meeting her, she told me she loved me. I kind of knew it anyway without her saying it. This is the song that was popular at the time and makes me think of her whenever I hear it.

Every Morning - Sugar Ray

Sugar Ray- Every Morning (Lyrics)

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My new car has all kinds of stuff that I am finding out about. There is a display in the dashboard that you can set it show various things like speed, but also other stuff. Plus when I turn the motor on during these cold mornings, the display tells me there may be ice on the roads because it senses the air temperature is 32 degrees. Now that is a smart car!

Some people get agressive about asking for holiday tips. The newspaper delivery guys are usually the first ones to include a card with a convenient return envelope. One of these guys usually leaves my newspaper about a foot from the sidewalk. No big deal, but he leaves my neighbor's newspaper inches from their door. So a few years ago I figured maybe I wasn't tipping him enough throughout the year, so I started including a 33% tip each week. Then there was a snowfall a little while later, and the guy threw the newspaper into a pile of snow about 10 feet away. I stopped including a regular tip after that. I still give the paper guys a holiday tip, but I reduced it to $10 this year instead of the normal $20 I usually give.

Today is the 17th anniversary of the LIRR massacre. I was on that train and heard the gunshots. It was a time when my life was spared, and that was not the only time. Despite life's sorrows, troubles, worries, heartaches, it is worth living. Today is the greatest day I've ever known.

Today- Smashing Pumpkins

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I won something today on ebay at a good price, and the seller now says oh sorry I don't have the item and must have sold it to someone else. Obviously the guy is a liar and thief.

In the year 1996 I met a 19 year old girl named Chandra who completely captivated me. She wasn't the most beautiful girl by most definitions. But I saw something utterly fascinating about her. I could probably spend hours just looking at her. She didn't seem to be aware how special she was. Then one day, after I kept my fascination I had with her to myself, she says to me let's have dinner sometime. That was a glimpse for me of the infinite possibilities in life. But nothing is ever simple. A few months later she told me she was a heroin addict. That stunned me. I had never known any real addict before. I thought about it for a day then I decided I didn't care. She had something very special about her that I hadn't sensed in many others. That summer of 1996, the movie Trainspotting came out. I never saw it, but she told me about it and apparently it dealt with heroin addiction. The relationship I had with her was off and on for another year or so. I tried to encourage her whenever I could. Last I heard she had kicked her addiction.

This is a song from the movie Trainspotting, "Temptation" by New Order, and these lyrics sums up my feelings about Chandra:

Oh, you've got green eyes
Oh, you've got blue eyes
Oh, you've got grey eyes
And I've never seen anyone quite like you, before
No I've never met anyone quite like you, before

Trainspotting - New Order - Temptation

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That was the gist of the comment I posted on this video, and it continues to be the highest rated comment. Apparently it touched a similar sentiment in others.

The Moody Blues - Your Wildest Dreams

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In my continuing efforts to join the 21st century, I bought my first HDTV. They are ridiculously inexpensive. I bought a non-name brand but the picture looked better than the more expensive name brands.

I was listening to a recording by the minister Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. One of the things he talked about was prayer. Not just prayer to ask for things, but prayers of thanks, and even prayers for the people who have not treated you right. The last part about praying for people who mistreated you seems to be the most difficult to do, but I guess it is to free yourself, and them, of the bad feelings you might have deep inside of you. So, I am going to give it a try. Specifically I am saying a prayer for two people who I felt unfairly treated me in a couple of jobs I had. So for Cherylann M. and Lori Z., I say a little prayer.

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I have found certain Springsteen songs to be meaningful in very specific ways during different parts of my life. For example, the song "Growing Up" made sense to me when I was leaving my teenage years. The song "Sandy" got me interested in going to the beach for a couple of decades. The song "It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City" explained how it felt to ride the crowded subway trains. "Backstreets" fit perfectly for one hot summer. These are just several examples, there are many more that are meaningful to me.

This is the song I am into now:

Bruce Springsteen - Human Touch

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When I was in my early 20s, the secretary in my department was this girl named Faith. Her father owned a diner in Queens that just closed the other day after 50 years. Faith was sort of a girl on the prowl for a boyfriend, and after about a year there, it was my turn. On our first "date", lunch at a Chinese restaurant, there were a group of construction workers eating lunch sitting on the sidewalk. So there I was with this pretty young blonde girl Faith, and we were going to have to walk past all those construction workers who are known to make comments to pretty girls. So as we walked by them, I put my eyes on each one of the workers, and they all looked back at me and not one said a word. Man I felt like Superman. Oh but it didn't work out with me and Faith. She hooked up with another guy from my company like a week later and she ended up marrying him. Oh well. Here is a link to a story about the diner her father owned:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/04/nyregion/04metjournal.html?_r=1&hpw

I have been making youtube videos of a sports radio host's NFL picks and putting them on a site called mikefrancesa.com. Today's New York Post has a column that mentions that site and the videos.

http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/more_sports/francesa_offers_no_recall_for_governor_3mvv86gYmVH8y2Cz0pReLP

I have updated an existing wikipedia article. Pretty cool. Of course I only did it for an area of expertise.

I don't use yahoo messenger, but on yahoo mail some person named "libbiemetz" wants to add me to her(?) online contacts. A popup box asks me to accept or decline. It's probably legit, but it looks a bit fishy like when you sometimes get a rogue program wanting you to click something.