763-5968 is the phone number of my first girlfriend I ever had, when I was 16. I don't know why I remember that number all these years later, and in fact I don't even remember my own phone number from when I was 16 (I only had that number a couple of years). Her name was Lynda - yes with a "y", a Jewish girl living in Brooklyn. First love is like none other and at the time I had never experienced any feeling like that. I could think of nothing but her almost every moment of the day, and I admit I did silly things like putting her picture under my pillow (yep I did that!). Well it lasted for a spring and summer that year, but obviously I never forgot her. That must be the reason I still remember her number without making any effort to remember it (and no that's not her number now, probably not for a long time). This is the song I think of about her, "Bad Time to Be in Love" by Grand Funk Railroad. But actually it was a great time to be in love.

Bad Time - Grand Funk Railroad [lyrics]

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My favorite nemesis, Verizon, is at it again. My phone and/or internet service goes down a couple of times a year for no apparent reason. Then Verizon takes a week or more to fix it. Last Saturday, I lost my dial tone, and then DSL went down too. Now almost a week later, they still haven't fixed it. The DSL works at random, sometimes it is up for hours, then down for hours. The first repairman came on Tuesday and told me duh that there is a problem in the line but he can't fix it because they need a cable splicer. The splicer came yesterday, but it was raining and he said he can't work on the phone lines if there is thunder.

It is disorienting to be without the internet for most of a week. I have been online in some form or other for over 20 years. To then not be able to get online whenever you want is frustrating. Also, I don't have any "paperless" accounts that don't mail a statement, but if I did I would have to worry about accessing them during this period.

I guess there is a positive side to everything. In this case, being offline has freed up time to do other things when I might be mindlessly on the internet. There is plenty of good things to do online, but it is an easy thing to get addicted to rather than doing more productive things.

I have my Cruze about 5 months now and I like it very much. Good performance, and it's really fun to drive. I think driving should be more than just transportation, it should be enjoyable. I heard on TV that for the first quarter of this year, the Cruze was the top selling Chevrolet in the world. I think there are good reasons for it - quality, price, fuel economy, performance, style.

This is the song I listened to this morning:

New Radicals - You Only Get What You Give

New Radicals - You Get What You Give with lyrics

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I picked up the DVDs of the British "The Office". It was very interesting in that the pilot was in some scenes word for word the same as they did for the American show. The guy playing the Jim part (Tim) was clearly the model for Jim in appearance and mannerisms. He had the Jim haircut and even did things Jim does like scratch his hair. The Dwight Schrute character was very different and very skinny. The show was pretty good althought the British accents were very thick in some places.

Yesterday I went to my local hardware store (part of a large chain). I bought about $30 worth of stuff, and when I got home and checked the receipt, I found out the clerk didn't charge me for one item that cost $5. I didn't notice at the time because stuff is often on sale and I hadn't figured out the exact amount beforehand. Also, I wasn't watching him scan the stuff because I went around the counter to return the basket I used. I guess the "ethical" thing would be to go back and offer to pay. If I noticed at the time, I would have told the clerk, but now I don't think that is the best thing to do. First, the clerk might get in trouble for that mistake, and secondly, I think there is a slight chance they might think I shoplifted it and came back because of a guilty conscience. I do spend a good amount of money at this store, so they have made a good amount of profit from me. So, all things considered, I think I will let this mistake go. What would you do?

So I cranked up this song:

Foo Fighters - Best Of You

Youtube - Video

This dude Tim Gunn is hosting Millionaire this week. He apparently has a TV show called Project Runway. His lisping effeminate style is kind of annoying.

Ever since I saw the raccoon, I haven't seen the oppossums. It might be partially because the oppossums only come out in the dark, and the days are pretty long now. But I'm wondering if the raccoon has scared them off.

Today on PBS, they showed a documentary made last year about the late artist Jean-Michel Basquiat. He was a good friend of someone I knew, and her record is on the soundtrack. I took a quick video of the scene with the recording, and her recording "The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight" can be heard in the background starting around the 15 second mark. The movie was pretty good but it didn't tell the whole story of how he died.

"Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight" in a movie

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I have been hearing birds near the exhaust fan from my kitchen and sure enough, they started building a nest in the outside hood. I like birds a lot, but that is not a good place for a nest. I removed the straw they had started putting there and I duct taped the hood shut, because I rarely use the exhaust fan anyway. The birds looked a bit confused afterward.

This is what it looked like:

I am almost finished going through Tony Robbins' Personal Power program. It is an excellent self-help, psychologically based program. There are many other good ones by other people as well. I think it is necessary at various points in your life to take stock and set a course for the future. Take the good, learn from the bad, and go forward.

Youtube - Video

As my life goes on I believe
Somehow something's changed
Something deep inside
Ooh a part of me

There's a strange new light in my eyes
Things I've never known
Changin' my life
Changin' me

I've been searchin'
So long
To find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Ow oh

Now I see myself as I am
Feeling very free
Life is everything
Ooh it's meant to be
When my days have come to an end
I will understand
What I left behind
Part of me

I've been searching
So long
To find and answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Woah woah

Searching
Don't you know I'm, hell yeah
For an answer
To the question, oh yeah
Who am I?
Baby it's true
It's only natural
Good things
In life
Take a long time
yeah yeah

I watched "The Apostle" today. It's a really good movie that someone recommended to me when it came out. I always remembered that and planned to someday watch it. The movie is about a preacher (Robert Duvall) who kills the boyfriend of his wife (Farrah Fawcett, who he is separated from). He then goes on the run and re-establishes himself as a minister in Louisiana and searches for, and finds, redemption. The movie lags a bit in the middle but the last hour is very good.

The Apostle - Movie Preview

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I feel like I can do almost anything creative wise right now. I'm on the lookout for things to create...

There is a guy on another site I visit who feels a need to proclaim his atheism as his primary identity. No one is trying to convert him yet he feels a need to belittle anyone who believes in religion. Actually my thought is that he is really trying to believe in something so he tries to stir up discussion to maybe justify in his own mind whether he is right or wrong. I don't usually respond to him but I posted this song to him and I think the part beginning around the 4:00 minute mark, is powerful.

Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show live 1970

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This is another U2 song I like:

Sweetest Thing:

U2 Sweetest Thing

Youtube - Video

I like some of U2's songs a lot. This is one of them:

U2-Achtung Baby-Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses lyrics

Youtube - Video

The appearance of a raccoon, at my door, made me think. I've never seen one in my whole life and then one appears on my doorstep and even approached me at the door in a friendly way is astonishing. Sometimes I think the universe sends you a signal, such as this, that there is some greater force at work. I think it was a sign, that something wonderful is on the horizon for me. I don't know exactly what it is or how it will manifest, but I have a feeling that it is on its way. The raccoon made me realize to be alert for it and see the opportunity when it appears. I gotta feeling...

The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

Youtube - Video

Men do not attract what they want, but what they are.

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.

Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment, of these, if you but remain true to them your world will at last be built.

The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors, that which it loves, and also that which it fears. It reaches the height of its cherished aspirations. It falls to the level of its unchastened desires - and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own.

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound.

Every action and feeling is preceded by a thought.

Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves.

Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself.

You cannot travel within and stand still without.

As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts, can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.

This critter showed up at my door last night.