About 6 months ago Citibank gave me a free $25 debit Mastercard for being a loyal customer. I have been using it to rent DVDs at Redbox and I had enough for one more rental before the card expires tomorrow. I have been wanting to see Tree of Life and I found it today at Redbox.

I took the Angelina Jolie picture from the Oscars and added the face of Suzyn Waldman the Yankees radio announcer. She is not very attractive but Angelina's body makes her look good.

I really like Sirius radio but their subscriptions are deceptive. They say if you pay by check or credit card you agree to automatic renewal. Reading some complaints online it seems like some people have had their checking accounts debited for the next renewal. I think I have found a loophole. They also accept money orders so I will give them a money order to avoid the automatic renewal.

I am having a lot of dreams about people in my past, most of them good dreams. Last night I had another dream of my friend Nora. She may be the person I have dreamt about the most. The first time I dreamt of her I saw her on the subway. I told her and she thought that was strange, then a few days later she told me she dreamt of me. Well I haven't seen her since 1998 but she still comes to me in dreams and I think they have special meanings. Last night I dreamt of meeting her during my lunch break from work. As we parted she asked if I would go with her. I didn't commit. This was the song playing in 1997 when she cried in my arms. No I didn't make her cry and no I am not delusional.

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This is a pretty song.

Guantanamera - The Sandpipers

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I was in the WTC that day a half hour before the bomb went off. I have had a number of close calls like that, and I am still here. I wonder if it means I have something still to do or just odd coincidences.

This may sound incredible, but I have been informed by Publishers Clearing House that I may be an imminent winner of a cash prize!

I am still probably going to do stuff on youtube but the one million mark is kind of a milestone. Youtube was an achievement but it is not my identity. I am going to look for the next thing to inspire me. I don't know what it might be. I have a couple of thoughts but maybe it will come to me in a dream.

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The Law of Attraction is basically the theory that you attract conditions, people, events etc. into your life through your mind. It is the subject of the book and movie The Secret, as well as many self help and success books. Here is an example from my life. Less than 2 years ago I started putting stuff on youtube. I had some initial success, then starting getting ideas of what to upload, and then I seemed to be in the right place at the right time to find stuff. I have had my youtubes picked up by various websites such as Sports Illustrated, npr.org, New York Magazine, and the Washington Post. One of my youtubes was played on television here in New York. Opie and Anthony played several of them on their radio show. Kevin Smith found and tweeted one of my youtubes. These were not coincidences. It's not that I am a brilliant youtube maker, though I have my moments. I have tuned in to some power through the Law of Attraction to attract these viewers.

I think the most important thing to know about the Law of Attraction is to know that it exists, and not be surprised when opportunities present themselves to make use of it.

Today I reached over 1 million views on my main youtube account.

My last blog post had the picture that looks like my cat Tabitha who is now in heaven. I adopted Tabitha from my then best friend whose mother found the kitten abandoned in a parking lot. My friend lived many miles away on Long Island. We packed her in an animal carrier that was made out of heavy cardboard. I get on the Long Island Expressway and after a few minutes I hear her struggling in the carrier. I look over and she has wedged her head out of a side. I was afraid she would suffocate so I pulled on the shoulder of the highway and got her out of the carrier. I didn't know what to do but I put her on the seat with me and she calmed down. I drove 50 miles on the highway holding her on the side of my seat. She gave me no trouble at all.

I had her over 15 years. The last 5 years or so she got this habit that every time I came home, or even entered the floor she was on, she would run to me and jump into my arms. Then suddenly one day she lost her appetite. She gradually got weaker and then one day she was clearly dying. I spent that day holding her paw and she struggled for breath. She wouldn't die as long as I held her paw. Late that night I was exhausted and had to go to sleep and she passed soon after. I buried her in a pet cemetery, but that is not the end of the story.

The first time I visited her grave, I started walking away and I heard something moving behind me. I thought it was a person and I turned around and there is a cat in the cemetery running up to me. I thought that was odd. So I walked back to Tabitha's grave and the cat followed me. This cat then rolled on the ground directly above the grave, and then kept rubbing against the tombstone. I swear this is exactly what happened. The only way I could have been more certain this was a message of love from her would be if I was hit over the head.

I had one song I associated with Tabitha. It is this Art Garfunkel song which I first heard when I was feeding Tabitha years before. It's a beautiful song about love and endings. I rarely hear it but the morning after Tabitha died I heard it on the radio.

All I Know - Art Garfunkel

Endings always come too fast
they come too fast
but they pass too slow
I love you
and that's all I know

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I saw a face in the sky and I swear it looks like my cat in heaven...or just clouds.

Then a cardinal stopped by.

Take at your own risk.
http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Check this out:
http://support.google.com/accounts/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=54067

It was very subtle. If you went into his cubicle after awhile you would start smelling something stale. The guy was well groomed so I don't think it was from lack of bathing. He was married and had a kid, so he was able to attract a mate. The guy was sort of a genius though. We worked on computers and I could tell him to find out how something worked, and without any prior knowledge he could figure it out and explain it. I don't think anyone ever mentioned the odor to him but I think he was aware because he got nervous if he was around people. The guy in the cubicle next to him brought in a fan and aimed it toward this guy's cubicle. He said it was because he was warm but I don't blame him. Anyway, the guy found a better paying job a couple of years later and left.

Investors Business Daily has great editorials, plus they hate Obama.

http://news.investors.com/article/601827/201202211837/obama-shifting-talk-on-high-gas-prices.htm

This song just flashed in my mind.

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I figured out who Rick Santorum looks like - Andy Bernard from The Office.

The oppossum still comes by at night to eat by my door. Last night he finished eating, stayed around awhile, and yawned. Pretty cool.

I had this long and detailed dream last night. It was about an old girlfriend named Beatrice. She was the only woman I ever told I would marry but alas things didn't work out. Anyway I was in some kind of meeting or presentation with a lot of people. She was sitting a few rows away and it was like we had already split up. We waved at each other and didn't really talk. But her father was sitting next to me and we started having a long conversation. I was struck by how young her father seemed to be. I never met him in real life so I didn't know what he looked like. But he was very friendly to me and we kept running into each other as the dream went on. Then the meeting ended and I went looking for my car on the street. It wasn't where I thought it was. I pressed the car alarm button and I heard the chirp from the car but I couldn't see the car. I was getting nervous then I realized it was just a dream so I didn't have to find my car. I also remembered that Beatrice's father had died in 1999.

I checked my horoscope in the newspaper today and this is what it says: "Your love life can be the stuff that dreams are made of".

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I took my car to my body shop for the damage under the doors. I swear I don't remember hitting anything under the car. I asked the guy whether it could be from a speed bump and he thought it was probably from the mechanic lifting the car wrong when I had it in for service. Estimate was $800.

I have used 3 youtube channels. My first one had over 400,000 views. My second is now approaching 1,000,000 views which I will probably get in 2 weeks or so God willing. I have a third channel I use for some other stuff which is approaching 250,000 views. So in total I have now over 1.5 million views. I am celebrating this achievement. Normally I don't celebrate when I achieve something, maybe out of worry that I will jinx my success. Also subconsciously I think growing up my mother kind of instilled in me "don't get a big head". But I missed out on a lot of celebration for my past achievements. Now my philosophy is to celebrate!

Current stats on my main youtube account as of today:

Shine on shine the light on me
in all of my life
so that much more I see

In the light of His love
in the light of reflection
Oh what a world
sometimes oh so it seems

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The Smithsonian Museum in Washington is taking Dorothy's ruby slippers off display. http://articles.boston.com/2012-02-18/ae/31075374_1_ruby-slippers-wizard-smithsonian-exhibit

I visited the Museum once and saw those slippers. When I left the museum I looked up in the Washington D.C. sky and there was a double rainbow. I don't think that was just a random coincidence.

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I noticed my car has some strange dents just below the door. This picture is a crease that is on the passenger side. At first I thought maybe it was part of the car's design but it is not on the other side. The paint is undisturbed and I can't figure out how it got dented. It is at the bottom of the car so it is not like it was bumped by another car. On the driver's side in almost the same spot there is another smaller dent like the car fell on something to dent the bottom under the door. Again, the paint is fine. I am thinking a couple of possible ways it happened. I took the car in November to get inspected and I am thinking maybe something happened on the lift. The car was also in a body shop for hail damage in August so maybe something happened then but I think I would have spotted it before now. But basically I am stumped.

I found this dialogue on a religious youtube video which got me thinking. I don't know it it is true, but maybe...

The question:

I need to ask you this Michael, you said a priest once told you "The greater the cross you carry, the greater the love God has for you"

How does that add up? How can god love one more if he has given that person a heavy burden in life? I don't mean to sound rebellious by any means, I just want/need to know. You do a great job, thank you.

The response:

Christ says people are blessed when they suffer (that is the Beatitudes) - so those who suffer more are more blessed. God uses things in this life to make people holier; and holiness is not valued when it is easy. It is easy to love Christ when everything is going well, less so when it is going badly.

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Obama often says he is doing something to help people who "played by the rules" and got the shaft. It got me thinking about playing by the rules, and I am not talking about Obama.

If you did everything by playing by the rules you would ensure a life of mediocrity. Rules are in place to provide a framework for the normal functioning of society. Rules are everywhere - from parents, schools, employers, government, etc. Sometimes you have to do something that is not formally sanctioned by these rule makers or you will never do anything great. Of course you shouldn't break a rule for example that would definitely hurt someone, and for the most part you do need to follow the majority of rules in society or you will not be allowed to function. But you have to know when following a specific rule is not in your best interessts.

I am learning again how success builds on success. I think it results from training your mind to think differently. Do something small that is achievable and when you succeed you start changing your thinking. When you are in a rut, your mind starts making a case why you can't do something and eventually you just agree and don't even try. But building on a series of successes, your mind starts to ask itself "how can I succeed" rather than making up reasons why you can't.

For example I was looking at my kitchen shelves yesterday and got the idea of replacing the contact paper on the shelves. I went out a bought a couple of rolls, ripped out the old paper, cleaned it up and put down new paper. It looks great and cleaner, and newer. I am getting better at thinking up small things to do that have great results. Hmm, what to do next?

I uploaded to youtube a tribute to Gary Carter by a NY sports radio host. If you search youtube right now for "Gary Carter death" my youtube is the first result. R.I.P. Gary.

I was walking down a street a few weeks ago and all of a sudden I look up and there is an electric wire strung from a house to a tree almost at my head. I am 6 feet tall and it was maybe an inch higher. The homeowner apparently strung the wire to have an outlet on the street for his car, maybe to charge his battery. I was in the area again today and it was still there. If somone is over 6 feet tall, and is walking looking down, they could easily get clotheslined. I reported it to the city.

I used to be very good friends with the secretary in my department when I worked on Long Island. The first time I met her was at the company Christmas party my first year there when I asked her to dance. I didn't know her but I just asked and we danced. Later I found out she was engaged and soon married another guy who worked at the company. A year and half later she became the secretary in my department. We clicked as friends and soon we were talking all the time and going out to lunch frequently. It was kind of strange because she didn't have lunch with her husband who was working at the same company in a different department. But I guess he knew it was just a friendship and nothing more. It was also helpful to be friends with her because she worked for my boss who was a senior vice president. Being close to her garnered a certain amount of respect even from my boss and others in the company. That was a side benefit but wasn't the reason for our friendship.

We remained friends for about 5 years than something happened and we had a fight that was hurtful. We made up shortly after but it was never the same I guess because once you hurt someone who is close to you that hurt can never be completely healed. I haven't spoken to her in many years, and a few years ago I googled her name and found out her husband had died in 2005 at a young age. Anyway back to my dream. I dreamed last night that I saw her and we hugged and I told her how much she meant to me. It was a good dream.

I think Dionne Warwick is Whitney Houston's cousin, though I had also heard she was her aunt. Anyway, Dionne Warwick had a hit song in the 60s about being addicted to pills called "Valley of the Dolls theme" from the movie of the same name. The word "dolls" refers to pills.

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She has a lot of talent but I would be Ok if they stopped playing "Someone like you" on the radio for a long time.

So I dedicate this to the girl of my dreams, who I wasn't in love with but she was the girl of my dreams if that makes sense. I picked this song because it was playing once when she was in my arms. This is for Chandra, a perfect name for a one of a kind girl:

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Tomorrow is my 3rd anniversary of being registered on spinchat (though I first got on spinchat 10 years ago). I did not intend to blog so much, and basically write my autobiography and document my life in real time. Now I need to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

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http://tinycatpants.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/lets-enjoy-jake-owen-together/

I have yahoo as the homepage on one of my computers and when I started internet explorer today I read an email message that displayed in the preview section. I clicked reply, wrote a response and sent it. Then later I went back into mail directly to check the message and it was gone. There was no message in the inbox, my reply was not in the sent file, and nothing was in the trash. Did I dream it all??

Did anyone see the pics supposedly of Beyonce's baby? The picture of her holding it looks photoshopped, and that is one weird looking baby. Four weeks old, a full head of hair, and an adult face. That is not a newborn's face. It looks like it could have a conversation with you.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/world-blue-ivy-article-1.1020772

I looked out my door and some guy is acting suspicious. He then starts doing an exercise routine on the sidewalk. He doesn't live here, he was just walking when he decided to stop and exercise. I took a video of it and added some ragtime music.

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One of my newspaper delivery guys is getting annoying. I haven't been tipping him because he doesn't deserve it. He does deliver it early but leaves it far away from my door. Now if that was just his style, it might be OK. But he always leaves the paper on the doorstep of the house across the street. A few years ago I figured maybe he would do the same for me if I tipped him. Well I started giving him a 30 per cent tip and then there was a snow storm. He threw my paper on top of a six foot pile of snow. I stopped tipping him except for Christmas. Then mid year he would leave an envelope with a note saying "T.I.P. - to insure proper service". I felt extorted but I sent him a tip. This past Christmas I didn't give him anything because he doesn't deserve it. The other day he left another envelope with thanking his customers for their generosity. I'm not giving him anything.

I was checking how many views this youtube of mine had gotten, and it was on precisely 80,000 views. Nice round number.

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I believe in the power of dreams to come true. I am going to dream something great. I'm not sure exactly what but I have a few ideas.

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The squirrel stretched out and took a nap on my garage roof:

I read my Valentine's Day horoscope and it said the key words to the Libra heart is harmony and beauty. Some words have special meaning beyond their usual definiton, and for me harmony is that word.

There is a report that the Pope did an exorcism in 2009. This is a video of Father Barron talking about exorcism movies.

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I put out food for the birds and squirrels. There is one squirrel that always comes to take food from my hand. In fact he (or she) prefers to get it that way. When it seems me it runs from the food bowl to me. It's an odd thing to see a squirrel come running to you like a pet dog, but i guess squirrels need love too.

I had to listen to find out more about him, as I had attracted him to one of my youtubes which he tweeted. That is a good application of the law of attraction. He has a new TV show coming out about comic books, not really my thing these days but heck if he likes it maybe it's good.

His tweet of my youtube:

https://twitter.com/#!/ThatKevinSmith/status/139605398868070400

I decided to get a sport watch. I bought a G- Shock watch with some nifty features. It is solar powered and sets itself automatically using the atomic clock. I got it at 35% off for about $85.

There was a large pothole at the curb outside a bank I often go to. It's been there for years. It was so deep that even when you left the parking spot next to it, your car would sink like it was about to break an axle. I finally got tired of it so I reported it to the NYC transportation department. They checked it out and said it was a "cave-in" and had to be handled by the department of environmental protection, and it would take 60 days. Well 60 days came and went. After 90 days I called back and they said all they could do was take another report. I emailed my state senator and he wrote to the commissioner of that department and asked him to get it fixed. Within a week it was fixed. Here is the picture of it now. I feel kind of powerful, like I can get things done.

Today's sunrise:

Simple Minds - Promised You A Miracle

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About three years ago I read the book The Secret. It is about The Law of Attraction, basically that our thoughts and feelings attract everything into our life, good or bad. Some people might have difficulty accepting that they created bad things, but that is empowering because it means they have the power to change their thoughts and attract good things instead of bad.

The last three years I have attracted a lot of good things in my life, and maybe the best thing is a sense of excitement about the next good thing that will manifest. Even when something 'bad' seems to happen I look for and usually find some kind of good outcome from it.

I am reading The Secret again.

ABC news did a story of how ketamine, the party drug, cured a man's depression. Well gee whiz that is why it is a party drug, it causes euphoria. By that logic, cocaine, heroin, meth, and oxy are also good anti-depressants.

We gotta get you a woman,
Its like nothin else to make you feel sure you're alive.

We gotta get you a woman
And when we're through with you,
We'll get me one too.

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Paypal is forcing people to agree to something called an Electronic Communication Delivery Policy. It's not clear to me why they are doing this. I haven't agreed to it so supposedly my account is deactivated. I will wait and see if they are serious before I agree to this thing which I still don't see as having a valid purpose.

Rose Royce - I want to get next to you

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The Long Island newspaper Newsday has a website where people can comment on articles like many newspapers. The next day the physical newspaper publishes a couple of the most "notable" comments. Today they selected one of mine, the second time they did this. My comment is the last one on the left using my alias "MARTINJSXX":

There used to always be some good TV shows on at 7:30 here in New York. Usually a choice of some sitcoms like The Office, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, etc. Now there is Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and of course the old Wheel of Fortune. Big Bang Theory is OK but it is a single joke that they do over and over again. Plus I don't get the part about that Galecki kid being a stud. Two and a Half men is also a single premise that they do over and over. How I Met Your Mother I don't get at all. Whose mother? And gay Barney talking about sex with women doesn't make sense. Wheel of Fortune is non-offensive but it is like watching TV after being lobotomized. Vanna and Pat Sajak look pretty good for doing the show almost 30 years though. Same for the Jeopardy host Alex Trebek.