Engel (14/sept/2005)

Hey meiske, hoe gaat het met je?
Ik wilde eventjes zeggen
Dat ik je mis
Hoewel je dit nooit zult kunnen lezen
Door wat ik heb gedaan
Maar geloof me,
In the end, was dit de
Beste oplossing
Ik had je nooit
Gelukkig kunnen maken
Je mag best
Boos
Op me zijn
Maar ik beloof het je
Over een paar jaar
Proberen we het gewoon weer
Opnieuw

Ok?

"I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
Coz you don't understand I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense"
Linkin Park-faint

"Odi et Amo"
Catullus

"She said loosing love is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow"
Paul Simon- Graceland

Krka's healing touch (17/july/2004)

I could spend hours
Lying next to the waterfalls
With my toes in the water
My fingers on the mossy green rock
Eyes closed
& listening to the never ending pounding
Of the falling water
Letting it invade my mind
Letting it be my only thought
Letting my whole existence
Move around that one sound
No more fights
Pains
Difficulties
Problems
Just the peace
Of something so powerful
Yet so beautiful & harmless
Nature's best creation

(From the cover of 'stargirl' by Jerry Spinelli)

Stargirl. She's as magical as the desert sky.
As mysterious as her own name.
Nobody knows who she is,
or where she's come from.
But everyone loves her for being different.

Don't know why (9/aug/2004)

And to think
You thought I was
Worth your time
I am everything but that
After everything I've done
And goodness
I think you don't even know half of it
But I need to be emotional
So let me cry please
Let me let these tears drop
I've been living too long without punishment
To think I was one of those people
You despise
I feel so drunk and dizzy
I just need to lay down for a bit
I need someone to take me downtown
Push me in the fountain
I need to cool down
I need to wake up
I want to step out of this drug-like haze around me
I need to follow the road down past the bread crumbs
Back to the old cottage
Where things were safe
And not as screwed up
As life
And I remember someone say
"Death must be easy,
Since life is so hard"
And I look at my hand
The scar is almost gone
And I miss it being there
And in my alcohol dipped moments
I think of renewing the scar
Really, something like that should be honored
And people around me
Friends of mine
Hiding and then dropping bombshells
I suppose I'm doing it aswell
I guess it's a trend
And I'm trapped in this lonely bubble
But I can't complain
Coz it's like I chose this for myself
But I'm hopeless
Dopeless and homeless
Kicked out on the street
Spending the night into the small hours
On a truck past the lama
And my head is so full of smoke
My hair at night smells like it's not my own
Smells like I've spent a fortnight
In a dancehall
Let my feet rest
I'm falling through holes in the pavement
I step out to feed a horse
And when I get back someone's wearing my clothes
Someone who isn't even capable of loving
And I thought we were alike
Oh the mistakes one makes!
And someone spills boiling water over me
Shoves me under the shower with my clothes on
And I'm lost in the tropics
What with the heat and the water
I can't believe I sat on your dryer for an hour
Hugging my knees to my chest
My shoes on the washed clothes
God, who wears those things?
Take this wine glass from my hands
It's too sweet, too alien to me
Lift me off
Lead me down the hallway by my hands
Because right now
I'm as lost as I've ever been
Don't kiss me goodbye
I'm drowning in the shower

Picture (28/juli/2002)

It's a field of sunflowers
But the whole field has withered long ago
Heads hanging down
Ashamed of their weakness
One single sunflower still stands
It's head held high
Towering over the field
In beautiful bloom
Too proud to die
Too pretty to touch
My point of view of you

Much strength n love to Bruce, you need it and deserve it.
never forget that's what I like best, making you feel a lil better whenever I can. I'll always try to make you smile, coz that's what I love to see, so keep those lights dancing in your eyes, that's how I love you most...
nat

you know, I saw that same field this year...there were many sunflowers that followed your example n look strong, but none is like you, because you've always been this way..

Island (22/feb/2003)

If you are
That little island
Of love
In the blue, blue sea
I am the shipwrecked
Girl
Finally finding
Peace and safety
On your beaches
As you kept me safe
From the storms
At first you fed me
With your tropical fruits
But soon I could
Take care of myself
And I came to love
You
Your high mountains
Covered with snow
Your rain forest
With all the beautiful birds
Your pearly white beaches
Where I could follow my footsteps
To your small lagoons
Where I could bathe myself
And wash off all the dirt
And I realized
I never wanted to leave
Your shores
So if you are
That little island
On earth
You mean the whole world
To me

It wont ever stop, coz the sky goes on forever.

January 1, 2004—0.15 uur, Budapest. Nine timezones away

A new year
Will it finally bring what I've hoped for
For so long
Will it lead me into your strong arms
Will it leave me laying my head against your chest
Oh, I long to breathe the air you do
Live the life you do
To share this love with you