Happiness.
It comes and it goes, often bringing about more disappointment than not.
But its there.
Happiness is an unexplainable feeling that you get, that makes you feel good.

Sadness.
Comes and goes inversely with happiness, often time stemming from said happy.
But its there.
Sadness is an easily explained feeling that you get, and makes you feel like crap.

What you have to remember...

All of these feelings are just that: feelings.
At times we are hurt, and hurt so bad that we cannot get back up onto our metaphorical horse and keep on kicking.
We need somebody else to pull us up there.
But they will recede.
Slower than a snail leaving his wife for a business trip when she's in the mood...
But they do go away.
Both happiness and sadness.
Broken hearts leave scars.
Scars have stories that leave you off better than before¹.
Stories are told later, and as ironic as it seems,
When all is lost, and said cycle completes its course,
The sorrow that bred so much pain,
Caused so much damage,
Leaves you more wholesome than before,
And when you do get past it,
And find the greener grass,
You will laugh at it.
Yes, laugh at it.
Laugh at it because it sucked, but it doesn't now.
Laugh at it because it hurt, for no good reason.
Laugh at it because it doesn't hurt anymore.
Laugh at it because you won't make that mistake again.
Laugh at it because if you don't you'll get sad again.

Happiness,
Breeds Sorrow,
Breeds Happiness

So I'm in Thomasville GA, an hour outside of Tallahassee, FL, cuz we're going to visit my grandparents on my Stepdad's side, cuz some other of his family are too. And they thought it'd be cool to be there. So I'm going there. With them. Cuz, yeah. I've got like 4 cousins that are going to be there, all female soccer plays who can kick my ass ¹, and the 4th cousin the head cheerleader at whichever college she goes to. Its weird, cuz she's my step cousin.... STEP... but no, too weird.
Dammit.
My male cousins on that side of the family are GUESS WHAT? Not going to be there. So I'm going to be the only male there, minus step dad and and great step dad? Lol.
Oh joy.
We're stayed at the Holiday Inn last night, which was ok. Fkn housekeeping waking us up at 8:00 -.- That's too early, lmao.
But I thought I'd add another one of these up here, just cuz.
Chillin out, not doin much.
Watchin Ghostbusters 2.

OH, I bought a pair of headphones yesterday, and wouldn't ya guess, I bought the ONLY pair of female headphones in the ENTIRE STORE! It had, like, gems on the ear part, and was all shiny silver. I thought it looked cool, until I saw the gems. I'm going on the 3rd layer of Sharpie ² as we speak >:D ³

But that's the gist ⁴ of what's up with me right now. Won't be on a lot today or tomorrow, but I hope to be back on the day after.
Don't miss me too much ⁵

I.
Have a theory.

When somebody is experiencing turmoil on the inside, they do what's called Putting up a Front.
Now, in my opinion, this is like a defensive reaction.
People always have their own reasons for doing something, whether it be them not wanting to burden another with their feelings, or its just their nature to not reveal themselves.

But
When said person begins to act out the front (Lets say the HAPPY cover for a manically depressed individual) without thinking, they begin to take over that feeling. The feeling envelopes them, and they ARE that feeling. Its not that they're acting out faux happy, but they honestly feel it. Its no longer just this sheet of cold indifference painted brightly, it IS a bright sheet. Even though the colors don't always penetrate to the core of granite, it runs deeper than just the surface ¹. I believe that, given enough time, the pseudo-feelings that a person feels set in stone, and it changes them.

Hide rose in blue water, and in a week, you have a blue rose.

That's right, its Christmas, and I'm on Spin.
BUT.
Its 1 AM, Christmas morning, so that's ok.
Came across a new discovery.
Its called CCleaner. ¹
Its like system optimizer, but its GENIUS.
Its easy to use, and gets rid of everything down to registry errors.
Fantastic, simply fantastic.
It even uninstalls for you, and does it NICE.
I could go into detail, but my nerdiness is best left a mystery.
I can do the whole man of mystery, tall, dark, and mysterious thing.
Well, I can try.
But ANYWAYS, its awesome, check it out.
Its NOT an antivirus! Though it is very thorough, and good for spotting them.

I wish everybody a MERRY CHRISTMAS! OR HANNEKUH!²
And to all, a good night!
If not, I'm sorry :(

Yeah, so, the whole daily blog thing didn't work out.
It was working out beautifully.
Then my computer goes and crashes.
Then school gets crazy.
I don't even remember the past month.
Been that weird.
But.
I'm totally back now.
Ish.
Kinda.
Idk how long, but, I'm hoping to at least be able to catch back up on this.
But I may not.
Idk.
Chaos is hard to predict,
As even the eye of the storm hides the real force ¹

I got happy though.
Ish.
Kinda.
Still been crazy chaosness.
But I feel at home in it. Like I belong here.
In the chaos?
Yeah, here. In the chaos.
Because as I made the chaos.
I joined drill team and I was on rifle and I'm on staff and exhibition ON drill (ALL ROTC based... Wow I have no life...)
4 practices a week.
Friday a day off.
Normally doing something then too.
And I haven't had a weekend off in the last month with rifle/drill competitions (BTW We've won more trophies already this year on EVERY team than we EVER have! :D)
Thus my absence from here.
But being away has done me good.
VERY good.
Not to say I didn't miss loads of you all...
But I can say that it may have been worth it.
Too soon to tell.
But...
To all of you still taking time out of your busy days to message me even though I was MIA
TY
And most likely ILY
But if not TY ANYWAY!
It is appreciated :)
Now...
On to packing for Georgia... ;)