*glances at you*
Alcohol makes me happy. It helps me sleep (more) soundly. It makes me forget about (mostly) my job. My perceived (at least I can pretend) shortcomings. My messy (not really) and (oh it's a buzz kill) chaotic life. So I drink a few bottles of cider in a very short period, watch criminal minds, because shoot - at least I'm not dealing with that level of mess. And then when I start to smile and giggle again, I know I can go to sleep. Still, I wake worrying about things I have not done for work, my kid not doing so great in school, etc.
This is a cycle that I need to stop.
They tell me that if I do not take time for myself I will burn out quickly. I have so much to do. An assignment due tomorrow that I did not even look at until this morning. An exam next week, perhaps the following where 7 chapters of a text book need to be read, I've read 0. A second exam of similar magnitude - I've read *part* of the first chapter. No, don't worry, I won't waste much time here....because I have too much to do. Responsibilities. I know. Do it. Do it. Keep going.
You'll have to start telling me to do that with more and more volume because I am quickly sinking - in sand, in water, in a void of loneliness and stress. I have only heard a friendly voice from another adult outside of a professional or academic setting (or being yelled at by my sister) once....I think all week? Thank goodness for pup talk. I don't know. Last week I did see my girl-friend. I think it was last week...if so that was really a long week. :\ I've also noticed that a few people ...I mean in my real life... I have not heard of simply because I stopped initiating conversations. That isn't fair though, is it? Hm....to have an entire friendship based on you contacting the other person - or relationship at that point, because a friendship would go both ways. Is it me, or are people in general just....lazy? Hahaha. Maybe they just didn't want ....ugh. I'll save that self-criticism and doubt for another time.
Regardless...I need to go work on school work. I hope you are well.