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Jennifer Ann · , · female · 36 years old · registered for 12 months · last online - today

January 23rd, 2017

Other · · 10 comments

Sometimes I am able to be at ease even in my chaos.

...except for those appointments. I'm stressed about those. Otherwise, studying, listening to the rain outside and the dryer inside, listening to the kid breathe soundly. Reading about paternalistic punishment theory.

Heh.

January 23rd, 2017 02:31
on

Ease in your chaos? What's the secret? I wish I did!

on

I think my secret is that my chaos... was initially used to avoid reflection and the subsequent depression after my divorce. It has since become an avoidant coping mechanism that is no longer necessarily within my control. So, when there is enough that I can't control, or enough that I am controlling (both extremes), there are moments where I feel complete ease and serenity.

on

The notion of depression was like a dirty word in my life for goodness knows how long, decades. I don't understand what it means to control chaos. Moments of serenity sound great. I'm like tense most of the time :(

on

we should drink some tea and play chess. :)

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I still feel that serenity can be achieved by realising the difference between thew things we can do something about and those we cannot. Then we must find a way to live with the things we cannot change or control and concentrate on changing the things we can control.

Chaos is only good, if you know you can do something about it and you can only avoid the inevitable for so long.

It is better to face problems and solve them, than to brush them under the carpet until they become unmanageable.

Good luck for today. Being expected to do the impossible is unacceptable.

on

This morning, when I woke up at 5:45 am one of the appointments were in my mailbox. The second- I have two referrals out for. Starting at 8, I will call one, then the other. Whoever answers to give me an appt. first...will get the client. So...here's hoping. :)

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Well done for doing the impossible. Now for a miracle. Next weekend, I fully expect water into wine :zungeraus3:

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Well. We will see if I get that second needed appointment. That one is actually the viral appoinrmebt.

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And traffic is a mess today. Glad I left early.

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