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Eva · · female · registered since 2007 · last online - today



Funny Things · · 2 comments

There was a man who owned a very large gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. There came a time when he had to go on a business trip and had no choice but to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. He explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But, he was never, ever, under any circumstance, to touch its fur.

So, the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana. He looked at it for awhile and couldn't understand why he couldn't touch its fur, since there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldn't understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.

Suddenly, the gorilla went ape wild and started to jump around. Then, it turned and began running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into someone else's sports car and drove off. In the rear-veiw mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behind him. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up a tree. He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.

The man jumped down and ran back into the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alleyway, then, suddenly, he saw a giant shadow coming down the street. The gorilla! It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked straight into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. This time there was no escape.
As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, "Tag! You're it!"

February 11th, 2017 03:42

he must have died by then lol


An astronaut is sent up in a rocket with a highly trained chimpanzee. Every few minutes a light flashed on the control panel and the chimp would turn knobs and make flight adjustments . The astronaut was given an envelope saying " open 6 hours after launch ". He excitedly opened the envelope thinking he finally had a chance to prove himself. He then read the note inside the envelope and read " feed the chimp ".

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