At times I wonder
If you think of me as much
As I think of you

You're so far away
And the distance learns to grow
As poison ivy

It may choke and strain
That which my heart holds dearest
But I will not bend

Please promise me this:
That you will remember us
The way that we were

And don't go away
To leave me laying alone
In this cold, empty bed

Return to me here
And wrap your caring arms 'round
This girl who loves you

Where have I been? Dealing with life basically. Lot of changes, lot of bullshit happening around me lately, so I haven't had the chance to really check in lately.

I have however been writing bits and pieces here and there, but nothing really adequate. Then again, I'm going through a semi-writers block type of phase lately (only being able to write small sets of lines, or just crap I just don't feel connected to).

I don't know. I'm just down in a slump lately that I'm slowly crawling out of - but don't fret, I'm still "alive and... well?" (Megadeth quote for you non-droogies lol).

Erotic mood? Dead completely the past couple weeks. I'm trying to get back into that vibe, but I don't think any of you will be seeing anything new in the erotic section from me for a while (at least not until I get my life straightened out)

But yeah, that's life I guess. Anyways, to tide you guys over I submitted a eh-ish song I wrote earlier. Another one of my sociopolitical type of writes much along the lines of Cement Bed as far as general mood goes. Very grim, very cynnical, very...me?

Well, thats all the time I have. Time to go try and sleep

simca: me kids? nah...
Fate: Thats right.. that'd mean a guy would feel comfortable enough cumming in you.
Fate: That'd mean they'd somehow have to stay in communications with you..
Fate: That can't happen.
!Ballplayer85: -
Fate: A fuck then leave..
Fate: Who wants to be around a retarded bitch all day?
Fate: Shit'd drive me nuts.
[Lonely-girl entered room]
simca: then how are we talking to each other again?? o.O
Fate: You could always whore yourself to the Soprano family @ Simca.
[JENNIFER. entered room]
Fate: Considering it actually existed..
[Lonely-girl left room.]
[JENNIFER. left room.]
simca: idk i never watched it
Fate: Oh you think we're chatting to one another..
Fate: NoO.. noOOoo.. see I am chatting at you.
Fate: You're chatting back but no response.
[STOLEN_GIRL entered room]
STOLEN_GIRL: hiiiiiiii
gmoonit: finding limits is gay
Fate: Lost.. epic.
Fate: Watch much?
Fate: @ Gmoonit?
simca: just addicted to this online game
simca: horribly addicted
[agut31 entered room]
Fate: Simca you're addicted too easily why I find you a horrid online sight to have to view.
simca: have no life outside it
[karebear left room.]
Fate: Must you be what we don't want to become online?
simca: its called talk to simca
[agut31 left room.]
Fate: An uber addicted social engineered and networked lamer tween at heart newbie?
simca: fun game huh?
STOLEN_GIRL: anybody want me to suck your c**k ???
[guest64545 entered room]
[RAMUELO! entered room]
StR8-BaLLiN rolls on the floor laughing.
gmoonit: lol stolen_girl , noi
gmoonit: NO
gmoonit: get away from me you DIRTY WHORE
[Stier57 entered room]
simca: people i talk to play it all the time
Fate: Omfg.
[Stier57 left room.]
Fate: There is no help for you Simca.
StR8-BaLLiN: byeee
[StR8-BaLLiN left room. : either love me or love me not, i'm gonna be me]
Fate: Your communcations don't even make sense.
Fate: Bye.
[naidu entered room]
gmoonit: she listend
[Fate left room.]
[sad_statue__ entered room]
gmoonit: you too, stolen_girl
[sad_statue__ left room.]
simca: did i win??
simca spins in her chair
simca: i win whos next?!
simca: <.<
simca: >.>
simca: awwww

simca: i want to kiss you
jay: what did you do?
simca: nothing
jay: then what do you want?
simca: forget it!

simca: i want to kiss you
fade: you realize im a married man
simca: whats your point?
fade: my wife
simca: ill kiss her too
fade: i'm gonna assume your trying to pull my leg
simca: good call

simca: i want to kiss you
scropion: wrong window williany?
simca: no its not!
scropion: then pucker away!
scropion kisses you back
simca: yays i finally got one
scropion: ?

simca: i want to kiss ya baby
fangs: your drinking, in Italy.
fangs: bravisimo!
simca: you dont wanna kiss me?
fangs: yes amoung other things
simca: oh look at the time i gotta go now!

simca: i want to kiss you
jay: do you have that on a loop?
simca: opps i already asked you that huh?
jay: what are you doing?
simca: my bad! buh bye!

simca: i want to kiss you
leviathan: i knew you where stalking me.
simca: but im not
leviathan: come to realize your fantasy eh?
simca: im just here to kiss you
leviathan: get in the coffin
simca: noooo!!!

simca: i want to kiss you
ryan<3: i'm gay
simca: i know
ryan<3: grow a penis or get the fuck out of here
simca: okay...... :(

simca: i want to kiss you
simca: hello?? elliot??
simca: kissy kissy.....
simca: did you faint on me?

Ciao a tutti!!

I cannot believe I have been in Italy now for exactly a week. So much has happened since last Wednesday when I left my small town in the USA to fly over 5,000 miles to a country where they speak a totally different language and have different customs. So far I love it here in Lecce, it is a beautiful old city and soo different from my town back at home.

I guess I should start at the beginning of the trip. It was a little hard to leave my parents because they were so sad. I got to orienation at about 11:30, so not many people were there yet. We hung out for a while, waiting for people to show up. When they did there were people going to Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ghana, Turkey, and South Africa. There were about 120 students there and about half were going to Italy. I found several people that were going to be staying the same city as myself. The orientation was ok, but it was basically just the rules and we also had a italian lady who did an exchange to Alaska come and tell us about Italy. The best part was getting to meet people that I had been talking to on facebook for several months.

On thursday we flew out at about 6:00, I sat next to Heather and Dani, we had awesome screens in front of each seat, so Heather and I took pictures of the flight info, and I also watched the Sex and the city movie and What Happens in Vegas. Then we had a five hour layover in Zurich, we looked around at the shops and got some amazing free chocolate samples. Then we had an hour flight to Rome, where most everyone slept.

At Rome AFS volunteers picked us up and we took buses to the hotel. Italy was totally not what I expected, when I stepped off the plane. We got our rooms and then had freetime until dinner. It was so awesome getting to meet people from other countries and talking with them. I met a really nice girl, Agnese from Latvia and I met even more poeple going to Lecce.

On the last day of orientation the poeple on my train took a bus at about 11:30 to a train station in Rome, on the train our whole section was Lecce people. It was a 6 hour train ride, but seeing the scenery was cool. But towards the end of the ride I got really nervous about meeting my host family, especially after seeing all the families at the stop before. When we got off the train my host mom came over and I was soo relieved. We went out to dinner and has pizza, which was an individual pizza for each person, then my host sister and her friends to me to the hang out place to meet more people. It was soo hard because I understood like no italian.

All my days here so far have been soo busy, my sister takes me a lot of places, and one morning I was sad because of frustration with the Italian, so my host mom called the host mother of Emmett, who lives a 15 minute walk away and we hung out at his house for a while and then explored the city. I love going out in the city on my own because it is nice to feel the freedom and to know that I can actually find my way around.

So much has happened that I cannot write it all here, but if you have any questions just let me know.

Yes, the gelato here is fabulous, especially the strawberry, I also really like nutella!!!

I have not taken a ton of pictures so far, because I dont want to feel like a tourist, but I do have some that I will upload later. It is so funny seeing tourist around the city because although I am American, I am certainly not a tourist here. I am starting to understand a little more Italian and I start school on Tuesday

Bacione, arrivederci

key*lime*pie: hey people are talking about me I think I'm being spied on :(
simca: I was hoping you weren't gonna notice but yeah
key*lime*pie: they say 13 year old but that's me isn't it?
simca: aww tsu tsu. I'm really really sorry about this. If I could do something about all this I would I'd make it go away
key*lime*pie: you could start a fanbase like they did you have supporters
simca: I don't have fans. I have friends. And I shouldn't expect so much from them. They aren't the kinda people who kiss ass. We are all pretty independant
key*lime*pie: well that's true. I mean I think it would work but I don't know.
simca: I'm flattered that you look up to me. But Im just fine with us being friends. You don't have to worship me.
key*lime*pie: I think I like that better too then
simca: exactly I'm a normal person behind this screen tsu. I'm not no queen, or gangster, or Nazi control freak. there's no reason for you to feel that I need to hide an army of people nothings gonna hurt me or you.
key*lime*pie: are you sure.
simca: yes tsu it's all nonsense they take it too seriously but we need to just ignore it till it goes away.
key*lime*pie: it's unfair they keep mentionig meh! and if I say somethingg back the wilma loser is gonna know about it and send that mafia after me!
simca: that group is more of a rub it in your face kinda group. They won't take action.
key*lime*pie: are you sure?
simca: I mean they could if they wanted to, but I don't think they wanna look like crazy lunatics

macabrelust: hey I read some where that you have two dads. Is that true?
simca: yes, that's true
macabrelust: omg
simca: ?
macabrelust: you really are just a fucking loser! XD
simca: but......
macabrelust: no wonder you have a wired thing with bananas!
simca ........
simca looks down
macabrelust: latter fag child
simca: okay......

Psychovamphunt: I'm just saying you are it okay?
Psychovamphunt: you are the one
simca: the one?
Psychovamphunt: the one
simca: I.... I don't like these games when your drunk
Psychovamphunt: don't shut me out just yet. Listen little one
simca: um okay but how long?
Psychovamphunt: I garrentee the pain will be exquisite
simca: the what will be what?!
simca backs away slowly
Psychovamphunt: you in my collection. Your a perfect little specimen
simca: ok that sounds great on your part but it doesn't fly with me.
Psychovamphunt: what beautiful skin you have
simca: it's just make up I don't look like that all the time!
Psychovamphunt: your so modest that's another appeal you have
simca: whatever just don't appeal me from my skin
Psychovamphunt: dark hair, magnetic eyes, perfect proportioned head. Neatly cut cheek bones that aren't too high or too sunken in
Psychovamphunt: l would very much like to see your insides as well
simca: in what way? O.o'
Psychovamphunt: cutting you open of course like a surgen
simca: ohh thank god! I thougth you wanted to rape me and sell my nudes on eBay. Lol my mistake
Psychovamphunt: you'll be conscious while I'm cutting you
simca: uh.... Nope nope that doesn't sit well with me no amnestisia no deal

stray: you surviewed so far with out a cell phone. Id go mad.
simca: well I still have to reason that since I'm not with drew now he shouldn't be paying my phone any more.
stray: he seems like he was a cool bf
simca: it was a shared plan
stray: then it doesn't count lol
simca: it's okay my dads are gonna hook me up I gotta cutesie it up and maybe get them to get me new furniture.
stray: oh they will do it. Gay men just go gaga over furniture while your at it go car shopping
simca: I don't like asking my dads for alot. I have to pay bills, rent, school food and car expenses. I could do without a new car.
simca: I just want furniture because I'm paying alot for my new place. I put a $650 deposits and it's empty!
stray: damn your dads could atleast pay the heat or are utilities included?
simca: nope. I have a lot on my plate and I just want them to supply furniture and cell phone.
stray: I bet having two dads gets you what ever you want.
simca: yeah pretty much
stray: what did they get you for Christmas?
simca: perfume box a handbag and a pair of boots
stray: a designer hand bag?!
simca: yeah
stray: what brand!?
simca: Vera Bradley
stray: I hate you....
simca: -.-
simca: um maybe there's a chance it's a contrefit
stray: your dads are fabulously queer! it's impossible that it would be fake!
simca: um they got it at dillards not bentley
stray: well ok I don't hate you. But I don't like you.
stray: what of the boots?!
simca: they were crap
stray: don't you lie to me!!!!
simca: no seriously!!!
stray: don't say timberlands!
simca: uggs
stray: you lie.....

panda*pie: um... hey I'm sorry we got you in trouble are you gonna get banned?
simca: why am I in trouble?
panda*pie: the geezer with the bird wants to take you out.
simca: the dude never talked to me so I doubt that
panda*pie: he doesn't really have to know you, if his girlfriend don't like you thats reason enough for him to harass you
simca: I'm not going anywhere.
panda*pie: just like he did to Elsie4 she was wrongfully banned and your his next target.
simca: how did you come to that conclusion
panda*pie: because he talked about u in his blog comments go look
simca: I told you, I never talked to the guy. Just his royal bitchy-ness
simca: not even directly actually. if he chooses to go ape shit when ever a person gives her a petty insult that doesn't even bother her In the first place you know he has been pussy- whooped
panda*pie: I bet it does bother her though that's why crumb and wink are her boogus body gaurds
simca: just let it go I feel sorry for her. doesn't it occurr to you that maybe this popularity thing she has online compensates for what she lacks in her real life?
panda*pie: I'm not gonna be sorry when she gets him to banned you >:(
simca: Terra this is the only joy she has let her be blissfully ignorant
simca: she wants to be a queen of the online world well why fucking not? She wants to call people peasents and insignificant just cause they lack a couple hunderd spin gifts, well what ever let's her sleep at nigth
panda*pie: I don't think it's fair to have her walk over people like that. and she gets to be the only one who's allowed to be mad when we wanna speak in our defence?
simca: that's the hipocracy of it. she can't execpt being insulted even though she enjoys doing it to others.
simca: rigth now she's fustrated and I didn't even have to do shit to her. the rampage of haters came to be because Elsie got banned and I'm not responsible for that now am I?
panda*pie: no it's baldy custard sacks fault! but he is jumping to conclusions and pointing fingers at you cause I said I was gonna beat him with a parrot
simca: he could have just deleted your comment or close the comments if he doesn't like comments it's common sense
panda*pie: no he wanted to have the satisfaction of being a smart mouth to who ever commented that's how they are. They like attention.
simca: what ever his post is out there. The annoying trolls are on my ass threatening me going bitch this and slut that... They don't know my side of the story and frankly I don't give a damn. I'm just so much better under pressure than most.
panda*pie: some body is jealous of you apperantly
simca: hey I'm just some typical chick online I'm not a queen or nothing just normal down to earth spunky me. I'm not jealousy wrothy.
simca: I got peeps not subjects I got gossipy friends not royal spies
panda*pie: you should be princess!!
simca: ewww no I'm too tomboyish and fuck you if you think I'm wearing a dress
panda*pie: youre so caring and modest and your nice to people and you treat them as equals and you don't act like youre above anyone
simca: I don't lose sigth of the fact that on the other side of the screen there's a human. a living, breathing, feeling human. All these people just want to be respected.
simca: I'm not a VIP or popular so I can't do that for anyone. the most I can offer is respect and that's all I really like in return.
panda*pie: and it works cause alot of people like you
simca: I have everything because I'm respected and I'm glad to be like
simca: but then that's why some people wanna put me down. that simply being liked is NOTHING. If it's really nothing then why rant that I don't deserve it? why do you want to take it from me if it's nothing? if it doesn't even mean a fucking thing why can't I have it?
panda*pie: idk people are weird
simca eyes water up
panda*pie: hey don't be upset I'm on your side! I understand where your coming from. Who said that to you anyway?
simca: some one who knows too much for a bloke who is unregistered. It could be anybody so it doesn't matter.
simca: some one in a rank with a status in some inner circle shit who has something to gain from a certain someone else.
panda*pie: think about it
simca: no point there's too many greedy people like that so it's a dead lock
panda*pie: oh some one who's not quite there yet. and a coward at that.
panda*pie: I think you should worry now you'll get your ass banned. These assholes roll in groups
simca: nope I'm not doing anything wrong. Everything is gonna be fine. I dont have to do anything krama will take its toll just like with dannoman and deny. they destroyed themselves out of being paranoid and ridiculously shady.
simca: i sat for a long time letting them talk thier shit until they where satisfied. krama is pretty real terra. you get what you give.
panda*pie: what did you do? Seriously.
simca: nothing. they just thought i knew something. something i cant reveal because i dont know it.
panda*pie: you should have just said something
simca: i should have been more straigth about it sure. but i keep saying i didnt know. she thinks i was teaseing her. i just stopped trying. i was making her suffer and it wasnt my intention at all. she mistaked me for some one else.
panda*pie: thats funny
simca: some one out there who did share in dannomans secret is out there sitting pretty :/
panda*pie: so you win with out even trying you let them go crazy!
simca: it wasnt my fault. im still waiting for bricks to fly through my window.
panda*pie: she wasnt banned she deleted herself so no body is gonna hold you responsible :/
simca: wanna make a wagger on that?

I was recently asked if I was jealous of any one I had said no but after thinking about it I found that there are 2 people I migth be jealous of.

The girl I'm jealous of is stray. I have envied her for years because what made her marrige work was the odd fact that she chased her Career instead of her man. I could never pull that off because my career won't work if I concentrate on my love life and my love life would fail if I put everything toward my career and education. And stray has both with out really trying so to me she is mrs perfect super women! So she's got it real well. I'd love to be her. To have it so easy and get lots of brand lable clothes and the awesome talent of being sweet and bitchy at the same time. Teach me the way of the stray!

Now there's the man I'm jealous of, fuckin tomato johnnyringo I'm jealous of the fact that he is old ugly and not with the times but he is really appealing to all of the pretty young bitches! He has a bigger fan base than any of my male friends who are significantly younger and better looking to boot. I know it's a pretty stupid thing to be jealous over and he is friendly and nice so he deserves his popularity but still I can't help being jealous of some one like my tomato of a friend cause I know for a fact that if I was an old dude like him I wouldn't have the honeys lined up. Not every guy can pull that off. Having said that I'm not as jealous now. But it's still unfair lol. I loves you piss head.