Now we all have to admit we have our pet "evil empire" things we think the world would be better off not having but, are they truly bad? Maybe....maybe not. Of course, some things are just plain evil and you're right....let's do away with them. So, here is my list of evil things we should probably learn to live with.
Jet Airliners. Sure, they're noisy, stinky, pollution spewing and terrorists use them to blow up buildings. But, how would you get to Aunt Edna's without them? there is nothing more thrilling in life than to take off in one of those huge contraptions and wonder if its actually going to get off the ground. Besides, you did specify in your will you wanted to be cremated so...what's the big problem?
Gas-saving mini cars. Sure, they're absurd to look at. Sure, the horn sounds like a cartoon roadrunner. But, you have to admit they are cute. Just as long as you're not the one seen driving it.
Pumpkin pie. It always gets a bad rap the rest of the year except for Thanksgiving. Go on, you know you want a slice. Go for it.
Fancy shampoo. Yes, it is evil. Yes, it contains formaldehyde. Yes, it will turn your scalp green over time. But, it smells soooo nice.
Pond scum. Now this has definitely gotten a bad rap over the years. No one likes it. It's smelly, it's slimy, you can't hug it but, without it we would have no way to describe certain individuals we meet throughout our lives. I'm sure bugs just love this stuff. We should really try to be more understanding when it comes to scum.
Lemon Lifesavers. Yeah...those yellow ones always get left for last. First go the cherry ones but, the bright yellow ones always come in last. Such a shame, they look so happy and carefree. Too bad they taste so bad.
Toilet plungers. No one wants to admit to even owning one of these. You wouldn't want to give it a big hug. But, the potty is over-flowing and what do you reach for first? Not the fancy shampoo, that's for sure. These things have to put up with your shit, give them a break, eh?
Staples. If you have more than three sheets of paper, use a paper clip. You would get all bent out of shape,too, if you had to hold that eighty page document together.
The Geico Gecko. Yes, he's obnoxious with his bulging eyes, green skin and Australian accent. He could have been worse. They could have used Arnold Schwarzenegger for the voice-over.