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mark · (), · male · 61 years old · registered since 2007 · last online - today

Dear Abby

Other · · 9 comments

I'm sure just about everyone has heard of Dear Abby, the advice column in almost every newspaper in the states. Now I have never written to Abby but, I thought, what a great gig. I could do that. I look around and see how miserable everyone else is and I just know how to fix all that whining and crying. I could be the Marine Corps Drill Sargent of advice. "Buck up bozo. You married the girl, now deal with her parents and just put the damn toaster under the cupboard and only bring it out when they visit." or, "Of course she's too good for you. Go back to the swamp, Gator Boy!" Sort of hard knuckle advice. Of course, half the time most people could use a little hard knuckle advice, up side their skulls. Humanity, it seems, is plagued with misfits, malcontents and malicious marauders that you just want to punch out their lights for being so stupid. Of course, without them, we have no scale by which to judge ourselves. Are we the stupid ones? Hmmmm......that is a tough question. I do stupid shit every day. Of course, I'm old and old people get the Senior discount. Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "Did anyone think I was being )))))))))))))) fill in the blank(((((((((((((" Kind of do a selfie check. That's my advice for the day.

September 1st, 2016 05:34
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Hah, great piece!! And of course it's just begging for this song to be posted as a comment!! :zungeraus3: :angel2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow

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this would be an awesome part time gig but hopefully peeps don't take the advice try to hammer it out then come blame you later that would suck.you might need some kinda claus in advice agreements cause peeps are always looking for someone else to blame.tell them the golfer has a nine iron that works overtime for just such cases like that. :ok:

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first of all...I love John Prine. Most appropriate. And you don't have to worry Diehard...I got the muscle end covered.....anyone give me grief, I just call my friend, Joey "the Goon".

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or The Whacker!

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you cost too much....

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cheapskate! Wahahahaa!

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OK but....I want it messy....got it? I'm paying to see broken hearts and crushed souls. NOW! Atten-hut! Sgt. Checkmark's advice column is now official out-of-business! I found a better paying gig.....(OK...Whacker...aim carefully....that's him.....second guy on the left coming out of the Chinese place. God, I love being a "talent" agent....)

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don't rush me...i get nervous easy...ok i got him in my scope...3...2....1....squeezes trigger! Blam! OMG it's Kennedy all over again! brains and blood and brains oh my!

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Whacker...you were just supposed to break his heart....now look what you've done...Ah well...next up is the cheating wife with the insurance policy. Husband says to make it look like an accident.....(Whacker drops the anvil on her head....)

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