Oh c'mon....you guys know you love these. Everybody has to go Number Two. So, why not give them names? They come in so many varieties and they are as unique as fingerprints (just a reminder to wash your hands afterwards....). So here without further ado, I give you the shits. Might as well....I've had them all day.
1.)Can't Stop Rockin' Poop. Yeah, you know there's just that tiny little bit more up in there and maybe if you rock back and forth it might decide to come out. By the time you're done you look like that Bozo the Clown punching bag that someone just whacked really hard.
2.)Midol Won't Help. This tricky little devil is bound up so tight inside your guts that you pancreas is in a panic and your kidneys are crying.
3.)Does It Always Rain Like This? Don't forget the umbrella and the galoshes. This soggy mess is more dismal than Seattle in winter. Smells about the same, too.
4.) Count-down to Catastrophe Crap. This one is timed to the second to go off at exactly 4:08 in the morning. Forget it, a world champion sprint runner wouldn't get there in time.
5.)Ripley's Ripper, This massive log should have gone into the record books. How it got through is still an amazement.
6.)London Underground. Remember the photo of all those English folks during the war huddling down in the train stations with gas masks on? Now you know what they were so afraid of.
7.)Blitzenbugle: Usually followed after a few Blatz. This bombshell arrives with a three second trumpet blast warning. Do not be standing behind someone having a Blitzenbugle. The suds do not wash out.
8.)Taco Torpedo. Does the Mexican Navy have a submarine? Does now.
9.)Homie Blow. You are so wasted out of your mind you forgot to pull down the pants. That is the absolute last time you will let your pals get you this wasted.
10.) Sherman Williams. Need I paint you a picture?