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mark · (), · male · 62 years old · registered since 2007 · last online - yesterday

The 10 Things You Should Be Afraid Of....

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Now, I'm not saying I have phobias, but there are a few things in this world I think we should truly be scared of. It's those little things you probably never took the time to think about. Maybe you should...(creepy music playing.....)

1.) Fast Food Door Handles. How many people have grabbed that exact spot on the giant fake fork before you did? Quick! Run to the restroom. When you get there, don't touch anything. Just scream. You've been contaminated.

2.)Blinking left turn signals. Do I have the right of way? It's blinking at me like mad! I think it's trying to kill me! That truck was reallllllly close.

3.) Built in camera phones. Is it on? Can they see me? Who's in there watching me? I see you blinking at me...

4.)The front page of the daily newspapers. Who buys these nowadays? No one. That's why they cover them in subliminal ink. They MAKE you buy them if you look for more than two seconds. And if you do...those are boobs sticking out of Trump's head. They airbrushed them in....

5.)Spiders. Any type. First, don't let anyone fool you, they are ALL poisonous. And they have it out for the world. Their master plan is to world wide web the world. Talk about downloading. Wait till the freakishly huge ones sink their fangs into you, then we'll see who's laughing. These guys are the masters of sneaky, get it?

6.)Whirlwinds. These are just baby tornadoes. Look what happens when they grow up.

7.)Dolphins. Really? Who talks like that? Lay off the Laughing Gas fish. Creepy.

8.)Popsicles. This icy treat was designed by a pervert. Be afraid, your manhood is at stake. If you're a lady....hey,,,,go for it. Indulge.

9.) Cardboard cereal boxes. This is just a plot to drive any human insane. The box says healthy. You have a heart attack trying to rip open the plastic bag inside.

10.) Stop signs. For how long? Does it say? Hell no. Never trust anything that won't give you a straight answer.

September 18th, 2016 05:14
1 comment

the cereal boxes i'm sure are adult proof. :zwinker:

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