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Irene I live on The Isle Of Man honest google it · female · 54 years old · registered since 2009 · last online - today

I hate spiders......

Other · · 30 comments

There s been a huge spider and i mean HUGEEEEE spider :spider:( its the size of a small kitten.. honest :augenwisch: ) in my upstairs bathroom for a while now, i ve been good, i ve not squished it...... yet.... prob cos i m more scared if i try to hit it with a shoe it ll wrestle the shoe off me and batter me back... anywhoo i ve left it alone till now as it just sits on the window sill, till tonight the big b*****d must ve thought to explore cos when i went upstairs it was next to the shower rail :spider: well there s me bursting to pee and i figured i d be done and finished before he got next to me.... unless they jump... they dont ?????? do they ???????.
got finished and feeling rather brave i stood close(ish) by and laid down a few house rules
1, he was ok living in my house rent free as long as he stayed in the bathroom and did nt peek whilst i showered, he showed no sign at that, think he might be Gay....
2, he comes nowhere near my bedroom especially when i m asleep, they do say you eat at least 8 spiders whilst sleeping and as much as i dislike him i dont want him as a midnight snack....
3, he keeps his eating habits to just flies, i dont want to be going in my kitchen and finding spider footprints in my butter or the lid left of my milk carton....
He seemed ok with the rules but as i turned and walked away i swear i saw him give a cheeky wink of his eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye................ i m off out tomorrow to buy some bug spray just in case :spider:

February 1st, 2017 20:27
on

lol please dont kill it, you will have bad luck if you do, get two paper cups - slide one under it and another on top, and take it outside. thanks..

on

Irene!! Have u been drinking again?? :P Hilarious!! :)

on

<laffn and luv this story. So happy you din't kill him or her. I luv spiders as long as they mind their manners and stay off me..
Yes if you get annoyed by him do what perfection said and help him gently outside.
Some big spiders do jump but only if you intimidate them I think lol.

on

And remember...all spiders are pathological liars...don't believe a word he whispers,,,they are ALL poisonous and creepy. Mustard gas is fine but, I prefer the Hydrogen Boot Bomb.....knock on floor.....squish the crap outta them!

on

checkmark - a pox on you! :zungeraus2:

on

cups absoluteperfection CUPS did you not read that the things HUGEEEEE, i d need two buckets... plus its that damn cold outside here it d just follow me back in....
Drinking Solid??? i ll have yo know i never drink through the week, i climb gratefully on the wagon on a Monday then fall off it spectacularly on a Friday :lach:
They do djin ????? eeeeeeeeek *memo to me not to intimidate the big hairy beast :boxedin:
& lmaoo @ checkmark, pathalogical liars huh... this beastie must ve spent time with some of my ex s then :lol: and Hydrogen boot bomb ???? cmon, you know me, i d stomp and blow my bloody foot off :rolleyes:
and like i said absoluteperfection.... it obeys the rules it can stay :rtfm:

on

tell that spider to keep its legs off of your wine and at least your gonna be fly free at your place. :spider:

on

Right bestie can you look at the spider again and honestly is it really as big as a kitten really ?? Unless its a tarantula which I doubt very much he won't harm you just cup your hand grab it and take it outside you will be so proud of yourself it's a spider not a tiger xx

on

lmao@cup your hand and grab a spider............I think she may have to drink lots of wine first.

on

Intoduce him to the rat.. they'll become drinking buddies and go and leave you alone.. or heck.. maybe they'll star a bar in the basement! Charge rent! But the best bet would be take a large glass, trap him and slide a card underneath and take him far far away from the house. Preferably to where there are trees so he can web design his new abode.

on

Irene, hate to tell you this but.....
He's the LOOKOUT arachnid

The other 3 are roaming your house!

on

lol golfer my wine safe, even the bravest man would nt touch my wine :duell:
honest goonerrog it is the size of a small kitten :cat:....with teeth lol and seriously ?? grab it in my HAND ???? i would nt use someone else s hand to pick it up lol
you just think i ll have to drink lots of wine djin ????i d need a weekends supply just to get near it lol
will people stop telling me to get a glass/cup/ my hand to capture the monster... i was at least 4 ft away from it when i was laying down the rules...... :augenzucken: right next to the door just in case it took a leap at me lolol
and just great alaya i m now to scared to go to my GB now... yeah, thanks for that djin :gemein: now i m gonna be to scared to walk around my own house :boxedin: hahahaha

on

Hhahahah..funny ...ok try this, slide a piece of paper underneath it, whilst holding the "cup" over it...carefully place outside far awayyyy from yourhouse...works like a charm...lol.. don't kill it, very bad luck and a pox on your house..gigglesss :maedchen:

on

Er can i not just put a piece of paper OVER the spider then squishhh down on it with the cup ?????? Yeah like i m gonna get THAT close to the beastie lol

on

lol noooooooooooooooooooo stay sober for two minutes k?..you slide the paper under the spider, and have the cup over it..lol..follow directions carefully or it might bite ya..lol hugsss

on

Heyyy i m sober all week and beastie s still living....wait while wine weekend kicks in :teufel: mwaahhh <evil laugh lol

on

paper? cup? OK...phone book.....As for the cup? Well, I guess you can scoop up what's left with the cup...but, a paper towel would be better.

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My personal favorite for cat-sized spiders is the tree limb trimmer. Just cut the sucker in two from fifteen feet away. why take chances?

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You think i m going to scoop it up after i ve squished it checkmark????? Ohhhh no, i ll leave it where it is as a deterrant hehehehe

on

Just establish the ground rules and I'm sure you two will have a smashing relationship :) I'm sure the wee guy will just happily build a web in your bathroom and live out his wee days there. I used to have a wonderful spider in my bathroom that I named. Just like yourself I laid down the ground rules and true to her word she kept them. One day I even went in and played the guitar for her. As things came to pass though her little body returned to the earth and her spirit went elsewhere, hopefully enriched by it's short experience in my bathroom. All the best of luck to you and your new house friend ! :) x

on

Aww sweet story Draco this beastie will be ok as long as it does nt start wandering, i dont mind knowing he s in the window sill i just dont want to be scanning the bathroom before i sit down to peeeeeee lol

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Lil miss muffet , squatting on get tuffet , when along came a spider , eho sat down beside her , snd said " a courtesy flush please .

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lmaoo Whtsxrl24 maybe i should courtesy flush the critter away :spider:

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Just read this on FB " Seeing a spider is nt a problem. It becomes a problem when it dissapears "..... good point that lol

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I ve read that humans are never more than a few feet from a spider always .

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lol hahaha that was too funny. Me & my mom hate spiders & other bugs. One time I yelled for her to get one out of my room & she came in with a dunkin donuts apron on , an umbrella & a can of scrubbing bubbles lol oh & a fly swatter XD

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eeeeek Whtsxrl24 over here we say your never more than 8 ft away from a rat or joeys/longtails as theyre called here lol, luckily i like rats better than spiders
Lmaooooo lilmisssunshine that really made me smile... errr what was she going to do with the umbrella ?? lolol

on

ohhh did she get the beastie????????

on

to protect her in case it fell on her lol it was on my wall near the ceiling XD yes she got it, phew lol

on

Oh my spiders now? Some spiders do jump , like the violin one and tarantula's also. The violin spider comes from Arizona. Give the spider some wine, sure he will join you..lol. Don't make him mad, even if he does take a peek at you in the shower. :maedchen:

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